This has been a pretty good week. I was thrown another ball or two to juggle but so far I’ve not dropped anything. Though I have deadlines on all of them coming up fast. The upside to that is that after March 31 one ball will go away and after the end of May another will go away. In theory I should be able to drop the most onerous one next week (fingers crossed!), and then going into summer I should be able to try and regroup my frayed wiring and maybe get a little better organized. I know that’s all pretty vague but that’s all you need to know about the situation I guess. Too many details spoil to pot.
I did attend the first ever Kentucky Trail Town Summit in Morehead on Wednesday and Thursday. Those were my peeps. For the most part anyway. I guess maybe the core of that group is my tribe beyond my immediate family. Mandy and the kids just walked out to go to school and I sit here writing this basking in the warmth of a house full of love. Those things matter. I let juggling the balls distract me from that all the time. I need to change that.
Something clicked in my head on Wednesday. I decided I needed to live in the moment more and less in a fantasy projecting out to some point in the dim future where things are “better.” That’s my typical MO. I spend a lot of time imaging how things are going to be for me when I finally get what I want. It’s a mostly subconscious process, but that’s how my brain runs almost all of the time. I had a good long stretch on both of the past two days when I was simply enjoying who I am NOW and the place I’m at NOW in life. I’ve got it pretty good, and I really just need to bring my focus back closer to the chest.
While I’m good at it, maybe being big picture all the time isn’t good for my mental health. Maybe its just been sucking the energy out of me. And so I will try to live more in the moment going forward. And obviously I don’t need to do that all the time; I just can’t let myself get caught up in dreaming about the future and pining for something I’m not when what I AM is something I used to pine for hoping to reach the place I am now so things would be “better” from some restore point in the past. Well, I don’t need to restore too far back.
I rode on Big Limestone yesterday. I finally found the fourth finger. Starting out from the end of the road, riding the fingers, and returning via the Sheltowee doubletrack I got in a respectable 11 miles. That’s a darn good ride and I highly recommend it. If you want something longer you can do the big loop from the Ranger Station up the Sheltowee, down Lakeview, along 801 to Clack Road, east to Big Limestone and then pick up all the fingers before finishing up on the Sheltowee back to the Ranger Station. That’s probably getting close to twenty miles if not fully there. That’s a good ball to juggle. Though…the temperature was about 15F when I headed out yesterday morning. My face and ears were numb before I got out of sight of the Jeep and my toes were burning agnoy as they warmed up under the heater on the way on into Morehead after the ride.
Tonight is the first RRG “group ride” at Tarr Ridge. The weather looks junky, but I think it’ll be good anyway. Until then I’m going to live in Friday, not rush too much, and try to be the best me I can be.